Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
