Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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