I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize