Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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