There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
A bitchslap is in order.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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