dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
