you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
