This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
