I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
