The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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