i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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