did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize