so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
