Screwed.edu
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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