Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize