just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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