My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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