I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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