You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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