Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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