Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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