i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
