it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
