Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I want to be your penis for a week.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
