His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
