He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
