OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
