Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
