party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
