Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
