I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Houston, we have a blender
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
