lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
