I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
