You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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