i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
