Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
