I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
