I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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