if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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