Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
