I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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