Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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