There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
