So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
