i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
