I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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