my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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