You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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