i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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