His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Yo dont text me then not text me
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
