I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
