is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
