It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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