I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
