okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
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just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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