All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
