You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
