i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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