if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
