when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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