they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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