similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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