she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
