She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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