Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
