Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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